Thursday, March 26, 2009

Corrections to Egregious Song Lyrics

I recently discovered this thing called music. Apparently its all the rage with the "kids". Well I did me some listening and let me tell you, I was shocked. Isn't anyone keeping tabs on these songwriters? Who fact checks the top 40? I guess no one because singers make a lot of statements that aren't even remotely true.

Well that's all about to change.
Welcome to a new segment I like to call Corrections to Egregious Song Lyrics.

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, That's amore"
-No, actually that's just serious optical damage. Not to mention a huge disruption to the tide system. And our gravitational balance. And where ever your eye is when the moon hits it. We're talking big-time crater. Also Dean Martin (punk) you spelled moray wrong. Its a type of eel. It looks like this :














"
Take a drink from his special cup, Doctor Robert"
-Doctor Robert, The Beatles

This one kind of worries me. If you go to see a doctor and he/she has a "special cup" you might not be at a real doctor. I had this problem for a while. Every time I felt sick I'd go see this man who lived in the park by my house. He was old and hairy and smelt like the inside of worm (I'm guessing). The man, or Doctor Apocalypse, as he vehemently yelled every 7 minutes, would advise me to rub his stomach. Trusting in his medical knowledge, I'd oblige. Often this would make me feel better. More often I would instantly be grimy and nauseous and my sore throat would not only persist but begin to bud smaller versions of myself, out of its damaged cell structure.


Also what kind of special cup are we talking about? like a dixie cup with his name on it. or wooden chalice used to hold the blood of christ? I imagine it looks like this
:

Either way, I can just imaging your primary care physician filling this cup with robitussin, and then creepily watching and giggling as you drink it.
I guess I don't have to worry. I mean who would take advice from a band named after a bug?

I am very tired. It is late. More tomorrow!!!


1 comment:

  1. I'm only familiar with one sort of cup in a doctors office, and if what comes out of it is anything like what I put into it, I wouldn't advise drinking from that cup.
    -RRH

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